Elaine

After I got over my allergic reaction, I feel like I just cruised through the days. Lots of alarms for Murphy's schedule and lots of visitors bringing me flowers, delicious meals, treats and great conversation. I had a few hours here and there where I was alone, and I didn't even know what to do with myself.

I did have a visit from a Home-care advocate, assigned by L&I. Elaine. Oh Elaine. She came in to my house shortly after the allergic reaction was starting to heal. She was just APPALLED by my house, which initially offended me, but really she was saying that I needed more support to really be safe. She wanted a home care nurse assigned to come and help me bathe, and clean for me. She also wanted physical therapy and occupational therapy to visit as well. Well let's just say Elaine is used to visiting with old people. I appeased her.

The next day, I got a call from a nurse Leslie who wanted to come in from the Home-care service provider to evaluate me. She took my vitals and then talked about my options. Their primary concern was getting me bathed regularly. They had a nurse, Tess, in mind. She was all business, not a eat bon-bons and watch Pretty Woman kind of gal. Sounds good to me. I wasn't really sure how I felt about having a stranger in my home helping me shower, but I also wasn't sure how I felt about too many friends help me either. One thing I have had to come to terms with modesty. I am not the strip down in the locker room type, and having a home care nurse dry your bum after a shower . . . is demoralizing. I know it shouldn't be, but it is. (especially when they surprise you with it). In the end, whatever.

My next call was from a physical therapist. Elaine insisted that I have a physical therapist in my home ASAP to get me moving and to get me strong for the stairs. She came and basically said, you are screwed until you have weight-bearing status on your leg. I knew this wasn't the real case, but I didn't particularly care for her, so whatever. I hadn't even been cleared for PT at this point, so I was really just making Elaine feel better about my DIRE situation.

Fast Forward another week, and I get a call from Resa, an occupational therapist. Occupation therapists are basically there to make sure getting around and doing things are safe. Think stools, handles, etc. This woman talked LOUD! I could tell she was used to dealing with old people, and I just nodded and smiled. Everything she asked me, I had an answer for. Shower - yep, we bought a stool and I have help getting in and out. Walker - done. My rope tow - BRILLIANT!! (apparently). Basket on my walker - A LIFE SAVER!! Bed in the living room - AMAZING!!

My absolute favorite part of her visit was when she asked me about going potty. Keep in mind, I have been home for TWO WEEKS. She kind of leaned over and said, so this is a bit embarrassing  but how do you go potty? Do you need a female urinal? She seemed genuinely concerned. I actually had to ponder how to reply. I had been home for two weeks and someone was just now asking how I was going to the bathroom?! I mean, thank goodness, I hadn't been holding it for 2 weeks. I calmly explained I had been getting up and walking ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way to my bathroom (I am guessing it is 20-ish feet), with my walker, and using a special toilet seat. Wow. Good for you. That's really amazing Brianna. I explained I wasn't allowed to check out until I could go to the bathroom on my own, so yeah, I had been using the bathroom. <awkward>

Then, she made me go into the bathroom to show her I could safely get to the toilet all alone, and then sit on it. I actually faltered a bit, and sort of landed on the seat. It was the first time ever, that I hadn't sat perfectly. I explained that and she just smiled at me (probably thinking, yeah sure). She tried to get me in the shower but I said it wasn't necessary. I know she was well intentioned, but I felt like they were treating me like they would any other patient, usually old people.

A week later, I got a call from the home-care nurse scheduler Robbie, asking me if Tess had been back. When I said no, he gasped. I said it was okay and that I hadn't really needed her. He said L&I preferred professional care to ensure no further injury. I said fine, and she could come once a week, to help me shower if needed, and help clean. He asked I wanted more often, as Elaine had insisted I needed serious help. I laughed and said Elaine is nice, but I am 33, not 93 and don't require the same care. He laughed and said he wished every client was like me. :)