My own Episode of Chicago Fire

If I could have jumped for joy when I saw the fire truck, I would have. The seat was starting to feel like a coffin and my legs were in cement. I was suddenly surrounded by fire fighters, taking in the situation. I appreciated the how quick they just got to work. I blinked and had air in my nose and was being asked a ton of questions. I was told it would be hard to get me out and that the team with the jaws of life had been called.

It's hard to explain how I was pinned but it was really awkward. I wasn't just uncomfortable because I was trapped, it was how I was trapped, and that honking. The truck that hit us was so close that the horn going off felt like it was six inches from my face. I feel terrible but I can't recall the name of the fireman who was tasked with staying with me. He sat in the back seat on the driver side and just kept his hand on me. When I would start to wince, his touch would soften or move. He talked me through the situation.

I was obviously stuck and they were going to have to cut me out. However, it wasn't so simple and would probably take some time. As the truck with the right equipment approached, he put sound protecting headphones on me and a giant canvas blanket over me. I tuned in and out, with moments of unbearable pain and anxiety to moments of yelling at them to be careful and warn me when they were getting close. My knee was being held up by the door, and I knew if they just pulled the door away, I couldn't hold it. And I knew the pain of it falling would be worse. I could tell my knee was injured. It looked broken, it felt broken. Every breath, every bump from the fire men trying to cut me out, every honk, was just unbearable. Plus, with the way I was pinned, I wasn't actually sitting, it was propped up on my toes, supporting my legs, and balancing on the center console and arm rest with with arms. I was holding on so tight that I was digging glass into my arms. The longer I was there, the more my legs began to shake; and the more my legs shook, the more my knee hurt. In other words, get me out! I made a deal early on that I wouldn't wear a neck brace because it was too much to manage. I had to sit there and breath through this pain, in a tiny little space and there was no way I was wearing a neck brace. I know at some point before all the cutting started, Andrea called my mom and our boss. I could hear her talk to my mom and ask if I was able to talk to her but I couldn't bear the pain enough to talk. Just go to the hospital, she's ok.

Then, my hip started to hurt. I figured it was because the door was under me. I was essentially "sitting" on the map holder of the door, you know, the lower part the is supposed to be down next to the seat, not up in the seat? I was starting to get claustrophobic and starting to panic. My brain was telling my body, just get up and climb over the console. It will hurt, but you can do it. My body was telling my brain to shut the f up. Have I mentioned it was hot as all hell in there? Seattle's first seemingly warm spring day. As I sat under the canvas blanket, being coaxed by this amazing fire fighter, I was sweating. Eventually I found the firefighter was hugging me. He was protecting me from the glass and spray from the jaws of life, and comforting me in a way only he could. I was going to be okay. I am alive. This sucks so much because the car I am in was so safe, that it is making it impossible to cut through it. What saved my life, was now torturing me. I love you Lexus, I hate you Lexus. Then the blanket came off. There was fresh air, cheering and I was ready to get up. Ha. I noticed I only had one shoe on. I thought it was good because my foot was probably going to swell and it should be off. I wanted them off both feet but couldn't move my toes on the smashed leg to wiggle it off, I couldn't move my toes. Jade, in a white coat jumped in and was periodically taking my pulse, checking my neck, talking to me. In my head, she was Meredith.

They could tell I was fading under the claustrophobia and pain so were giving me a little break. They had peeled the top of the car off like a sardine can, but still need to take the door off. I reminded them that my leg was being propped up by the door and to warn me when it was going to wiggle because I need to prepare myself. I turned so that both arms were wrapped around the center console and looked up. I saw Andrea, standing there staring at me, with so much fear in her eyes, I had to look away. I wanted her to know I was okay and was going to be okay, but she couldn't hear me. I yelled really loud and the fire fighter promised me he would make sure she knew, I put my head down and screamed and sobbed as I could feel the door loosening. I wanted it loose but I also didn't have the strength to hold it anymore. I suddenly felt a hand come in and hold my leg up. Admittedly a little more rough than I could handle, but it was there. Hands were key for the rest of this for me. Please just get me out. Please.

The door came off and my lucky fire fighter told me we were close but the door wasn't truly off and they didn't have time to get it off perfectly, so I was going to have to trust him on the rest. Air, cool air. The blanket was gone, the headphones were gone, the awful noise of metal being cut was gone and the honking was gone, but I was still in the car. They were talking through scenarios around me, and I was talking them out of them. They jabbed my back with a board thinking they could fit it behind me and some how squeeze me up the board? My hip was not happy with that. Is the other driver okay? Yes, he had an air bag and is standing by watching.

Then they wanted to just lift me out, they wanted to try to carve the front off more. I wasn't having it. They also wanted me to put a neck brace on . . .. Now. As my lucky guy was about to do the honors, I begged for them to put my hair up, I was hot and sweaty and I knew this wasn't over. Apparently, my brave fire fighter went white at the thought of putting my hair in a ponytail. Jade to the rescue, pulled a rubber band out of her own hair, and threw mine up in a knot. She told me my fire fighter was a good friend and dad to four sons, and had NO idea what a ponytail even was. I can appreciate that.

We (yes, I included myself in the discussion) decided that they would lift me up, put the board under me, and then lift me all the way out. This was going to hurt. My knee was SWOLLEN and my hip was hurting and I couldn't wiggle my toes and I was not happy, but agreed to try. Four fire fighters lifted me up and I screamed in pain and they quickly inserted the board. Some got on their knees to get under the board and lift me up. I honestly wish there was video of this, because I think it was just amazing. I quickly pointed out that my knees were in the way of their plan. I couldn't bend in whatever way they needed. I was definitely in the mindset of figuring out what was going to hurt or not. I needed to shift over a few inches, but I didn't have any strength or quite honestly anything left in me. So, 2 pulled, 2 pushed to slowly scoot me over to where I would, in theory be able to swing my legs around and up on the board. It was coordinated pain. As we got closer to being able to swing, they started to raise up and I felt uneasy. I said I needed to do something with my hands, needed something to hold on to. One fire fighter, an older lady, snapped at me about them having me, I was okay, just let them do their job. Oh really!? You want to fight with me!? I stopped and said, I just need a hand to hold, I'm scared. Immediately 5 hands appeared in my face, and I took two and was ready to go. I don't know where the hands came from, as I thought they were all scooting me or holding me up, but they made me feel safe. The next move was to turn. It hurt like hell and was really the first time I realized how bad my groin and hip really hurt.

I was on the board, up and out and immediately onto a stretcher. Oxygen. Tape. Sheets. Pillows. Sticky stuff, lots of sticky stickers of medical stuff. My head was taped to the board, my chest was taped to the board. I was taped to the board and never felt better about something so random. I was out, I was safe.

Where's Andrea!?!?!?

The beginning

How did this happen? Well, let me tell you. Andrea and I were headed to Costco to pick up some treats for our event staff meeting. We came over the bridge on 99 Southbound when we realized we weren't in the right place. I pulled out my phone and started mapping it, and told her to take a left off 99 onto Dawson. As we waited to turn, there was a lot of traffic and we chatted about how rude it was that people don't stop, especially when the light ahead of them was turning red. Eventually two stopped and let a space for us to go. They both waved and we assumed that was a "your welcome" and so we went. As soon as we turned, I knew. And life went in slow motion from there.

A white truck was coming and quickly. And then loud, just loud. As I opened my eyes, I looked at Andrea to see if she was okay. It's a bit fuzzy, but I think it took us both sometime to realize. I couldn't really move but could see a phone in the center console and just started saying, call 911, over and over again. Andrea tried to dial but was in pain and couldn't look to dial. A man and a blonde lady walked up to the car and started talking to Andrea saying they had called 911. She just set the phone down and leaned her head back.

I started taking stock of the situation. My knee was starting to swell, I could feel the hot rushing and just stared as my knee as it welled up and stretched the pants I was wearing. During my time deep in thought, I could hear honking, lots of honking. I turned and Andrea was out of the car talking to the people. The guy got in and started talking to me. He held my hand and told me he was Tom and would stay with me until the medics arrived. He had me look at him, he checked my eyes, and just made chit chat. My legs were pinned between the door and the center console, and I hurt. My knee hurt, my arm hurt and I was glittery with glass.

Still the truck was honking. Too much honking. Then sirens....