Trying to stay positive

A lot of people have asked me for a new blog update on how I'm doing, so here goes. One thing I have taken pride in through the last 10 and a half months is my positive attitude. It's hard. The last three weeks have been extra hard. I was notified by Labor and Industries that "according to their calculations" I should be healed and my care will probably not continue to be covered. Just like that. Now, If you know anything, that's not exactly how it works. They can't cut me off until a doctor says they can (I.e. I'm healed), but they sure can make it a challenge. 

My logical brain understands as I know a huge portion of those covered by this benefit abuse it, and sadly the system has to compensate for that, rather than taking care of those who need it. Always on the defensive. I get it but it makes me want to cry. I feel like I have suffered enough. I was only compensated for wages for the mere 4 weeks I took off to recover, and the rest of my medical has been covered, and for the most part, since my 6 month mark (September), it has only been physical therapy. 

My physical therapy is also unique as it is not what most people expect to see in PT. I have been fortunate enough to work out at an amazing gym (Happy Hour by Marisa) where the owner Marisa Mancke developed special workouts for me, until I could fully integrate into the classes she teaches. Most of the physical work I do to recover is on my own; using my PT time for deep tissue work - something I can't do on my own. If you think I can, try sticking your own elbow in your glute and come back to talk to me.

So back to my general practitioner along with notes from my physical therapist to submit a letter to L&I to extend my coverage. Before they even got the letter, they had a quick conversation with my PT and limited my coverage. It went retroactive and so before I knew it, my coverage is basically up again. So it seems that every 6 weeks I have to fight for additional coverage. It is increasingly apparent that they don't even know what truly happened to me. Pelvis breaks are fairly rare outside the elderly, so there isn't a great "calculation" for healing because they usually just stay in bed and not get super active again. 

What is even more daunting, is that I probably need PT for another 6-8 months. Not at often as I do now, but for the next 6-8 months, I have to fight every 6-8 weeks for coverage. Why not just use my insurance? I don't want to and I shouldn't have to.

The icing on the cake is that these last 2 weeks have been the most painful I've had since probably September/October. It's really the first time I've taken steps back, vs. forward. I hurt when I sit, I hurt when I stand, I hurt when I lay down. I can't sit in the same position for longer than 15-30 minutes without something starting to ache. Plus, in the last few weeks, I have been getting random twinges of immense pain that freezes me. I usually get it as I take a step and literally have to freeze to stop the pain. It sucks, because I can't anticipate it and it never happens conveniently. Today, I was out with coworkers and was hit with such intense pain, I started to cry. I was embarrassed that it happened, as I mostly (try to) wear a happy face with coworkers. 

So it's hard. I'm home on a heating pad for my pelvis and and ice pack for my back. I want to scream that I am a good person and just need PT, instead I'll play by their rules and charge MORE to them by going back to the doctor every six weeks. Whatever. I deserve it, I just hate fighting for it. I deserve someone else sticking their elbow in my glute. I deserve to walk without a limp or pain. So if I don't seems as positive as I have been, I'll bounce back, just taking a break to be pissed off at the system and nurse my pelvis and heart back to some normalcy. :)

Thanks for reading. I am supposed to walk a 5k on March 2 and do the big climb on March 23. These are the last two events I did before the accident, and hoped to come back and celebrate my progress. I'll make sure to post on my progress to those!